I cannot apologize profusely enough for my extended absence and any grief it has caused. The satellite connection to the internet was, of course, the first thing to malfunction upon our exit from Paris, and the ports we've been visiting have not been particularly technologically adept.
Alas, I cannot in good faith discuss the details of the majority of my adventures - classified data and all that. Suffice to say, we've had run ins with pirates, pygmies, parrots, and parasites, alone with many other non-alliterative difficulties.
Aside from a rather unfortunate hair cut, I have remained miraculously free of injury, and am in good health.
I long to know how you are all doing - do reply as soon as possible.
Postscript: The time spent away from you, my dear dear love, has pained me beyond all measure. Did you think I was killed? Taken by the sea? Or did you, worst of all, think I had abandoned you for some native beauty?
Are you faithful to my love still? Please, please let me know. I yearn to read words typed by your own delicate fingers, even if they be sorrowful ones.